These are uncertain times, and the reverberation has impacted all of life’s rituals around birth and marriage and death. How we expect to mourn has at times been challenged but, in many ways, it has allowed us to focus on the essence of what really matters.
I provide a range of Celebrant services for funerals, memorial and celebration of life services. I work both with funeral directors and independently. There is usually only a very short time to organise an end-of-life service. I can guide you through the process and ensure that you create a service that captures the essence of the person you are honouring. Together we can define how creative or traditional you want the service to be – contact me and we can talk it through.
Testimonials
“Sharon provided a most wonderful memorial service for my late mother. She took a great deal of time to talk to the family and get to know her. She wanted to be able to properly capture the person. Her service did just that. She captured the real essence, and at the same time provided an enjoyable celebration of her life. The family all found her to be sympathetic to their needs and a real pleasure to work with.
/ Celebration of Life, Redan Victoria, Chris, May 2022 /
“Sharon gave my children and the participating congregation the most beautiful eulogy of my mother. Sharon delivered a thoroughly researched story of my mother's life that everyone could reflect on and treasure forever. Everyone was mesmerised by her delivery. I was in very safe hands when she took over from me and I felt my message and so did my family and friends. I could not have asked for more from Sharon, and I highly recommend her services.”
/ Celebration of Life, Springvale Botanical Cemetery, Tim, May 2022 /
“Hi Sharon, Thanks for the caring approach and understanding for our Dad's funeral. The time and preparation that you put into the service was really appreciated. You were able to capture all facets of his life which you portrayed with compassion and sincerity. Many thanks again for making us all feel at ease during this difficult time. You really are the best.”
/ Funeral Service, Williamstown Victoria, Robert, May 2022 /
“Now the dust has settled on Saturday's memorial service I wanted to convey a BIG THANK YOU from the whole family. We greatly appreciated all your help and assistance especially in the following ways:
Your guidance on how to assemble and order the day.
Your input on how to develop the eulogy and tributes and, of course, the beautiful eulogy you wrote and delivered.
Your suggestions and feedback on the reading and the music.
Your suggestions on what props would be needed and the different suppliers
Your attention to detail in ensuring the event ran smoothly.
On top of those, I loved how you read the poem - beautifully done - bringing its meaning to life and how you listened to us (in all our ramblings and thoughts about Mum and Dad) and got the right tone and feeling that we were striving for and enabled all the family to contribute to such a wonderful experience.”
/ Dual Memorial, Springvale Botanical Cemetery, Liz, February 2022 /
“Hello Sharon, Just wanted to say thank you for a wonderful service for Colleen. She would have approved.”
/ Celebration of Life, Wooling Hill Memorial Estate Gisborne, Deb, February 2022 /
“My name is Richard Dalmau. In January 2022 my loving wife Rhonda Passed away peacefully at the Royal Melbourne hospital. My son Travis and daughter Roslyn found Sharon Orbell to be the Celebrant for Rhonda's Service. On my behalf, and what was said to me by family and friends, I would like to say I found Sharon firstly to be very comforting and caring of my circumstance. On our meeting in my home with my family, Sharon was welcomed, and she could understand Rhonda’s life in our family home. I felt Rhonda would have loved to have Sharon as a friend and a celebrant for her service. I found Sharon very professional, understanding, caring of our thoughts and feelings at this time of mixed emotions. I recommend Sharon as I felt that not only, she cared for my family, Sharon generally cares for the family of others. Sharon once again, my family and I felt your support. Thanking you.”
/ Celebration of Life, Fawkner Memorial Park, Richard, Feb 2022 /
“Thanks Sharon. Your professional and caring approach made the ceremony one of the last things that I am proud of to hold on behalf of mum, I think she would of liked it. You made the day a bit easier for all of us. Again, thank you.”
/ Celebration of Life, Altona Memorial Park, Craig and Sandra, January 2022 /
"Thank you so much for your unwavering commitment to making Melissa’s service such a wonderful celebration of her life. It has been the hardest time but your involvement made the path so much easier for all of us. I think my nephews especially benefited from seeing everyone honour their Mum so beautifully. My mother and I especially appreciated your sensitivity, caring nature, top notch organisational skills and unique understanding of how difficult this has been. You were a rock to all of us and went above and beyond to help us which will never be forgotten. I’m more than happy to express this in a review so that others can have the benefit of such an amazing person in their own losses. They’ll be getting the absolute best! "
/ Funeral, Abbotsford Convent, Kellie, December 2021 /
“Thank you so much for presiding over such a beautiful service for our sister, it was so fitting for her and I am positive she would have very much approved! I have already had many comments from family and friends who have said it was perfect. I do appreciate that your work has its challenges, particularly with current restrictions effecting life milestones - and I wish you the very best.”
/ Cathie Shearer, August 2021 /
“Please accept a little thank you for turning a difficult time into a beautiful and healing ceremony for us all. You managed to capture so much of what we hoped to be able to express about our brother. Thank you.”
/ Graveside Service, Eltham Cemetery, Rosemary and John, August 2021 /
“Sharon delivered a beautiful and heartfelt eulogy at my mother's funeral. She is a lovely lady with the most warm and comforting presence. Thank you so much Sharon for capturing mum's life perfectly and for bringing a little bit of light to a dark time in our lives.”
/ Celebration of Life, Wooling Hill Memorial Estate, Veronica, December 2020 /
“I just wanted to say thank you on behalf of myself and my family. Your sensitive and genuine approach to celebrating Gordana's life today was wonderful. I personally felt supported by you which made it easier to deliver her eulogy. A lot of people positivity commented on the service and on you.”
/ Funeral Service, Springvale Botanical Cemetery, Mim, May 2019 /
"We cannot thank you enough Sharon for the beautiful service for my Mum's funeral today. Very caring and helpful in every way."
/ Funeral Service, Springvale Botanical Cemetery, Susan, September 2018 /
Funerals and Memorials
PRECIOUS STORIES WITH WARMTH AND GENTLE HUMOUR
Planning a funeral is a time that you need someone you can trust will tell the story of your loved one and capture their essence in the right sort of tribute that honours them. You have a very short time to bring all the elements together.
When I write a service for a funeral or memorial it is about finding the precious story and telling it with warmth and gentle humour.
I’ve worked with many families in their early stages of grief to help them define exactly how they want the ceremony to be. The families who I have helped have spoken of the difference it made at such a difficult time. It is a great privilege to have people’s trust in their most challenging moments. It’s a privilege I don't take for granted. When I talk with families, I listen to learn as much as I can about your person, their life, their interests, their personality and what was important to them. I want to ensure that the tone and voice of the story is connected to the person you have lost. I’ve always loved hearing people's stories and stories have always been shared with me.
If this is the beginning of your search to organise a funeral I can refer you to a number of different Funeral Directors across Melbourne who can provide excellent support in making your plans. All I have worked with provide excellent service and attention to detail.
There are no rules for how funeral and memorial ceremonies need to be, but I can provide you with guidance on how you might structure your ceremony. Read my blog "Send offs with love - how to get the funeral service right?". Please contact me if you would like to talk through how I might help.
Writing a Tribute for your Person’s Celebration of Life
A tribute is words from a family member or close friend about the deceased. It is about what your person meant to you.
What’s the difference between the eulogy and a tribute? The eulogy tends to be all encompassing of the person’s life, longer and less a personal reflection. There will be one eulogy in the service and can be many tributes. Each tribute paints a different perspective.
A tribute is like a letter, sometimes even a love letter. It does not have to be very long. Just make it as long as you need to say what you want to say. It doesn’t have to all be serious it can be funny too. Use 500 to 750 words as a guide but it can be shorter or longer.
From my experience, when you are reading aloud shorter sentences help you. The more emotional you are the more likely you are to lose your place and the more you need to breath to stay calm. Not that crying or getting upset during your tribute is a problem at all. I suggest that you break longer sentences into shorter sentences to make it easier to read out loud.
On the day of the ceremony, you can either read this yourselves or I can read it for you.
In your tribute you might answer the following:
What is your favourite memory of your person?
What is the best bit of advice your person ever gave to you?
What did you like doing with your person most recently?
What will you miss most about your person?
When was your person happiest?
How would you like to be like your person?
What did you learn from your person and how did they influence you?
Did your person challenge you or make you reflect differently on things?
What three words best describe your person?
Is there a funny story about your person you want to mention – how did he/she make you laugh?
What values were important to your person and how did they live them?
How do you think they would want to be remembered?
What do you think they would regard as their greatest achievements?
Hope this helps to get you started. Contact me if you would like to know more.
Living Funerals
Come and dance to Wham at my end of life party
When I was in my twenties I use to joke with my friends that the last song I wanted played was Wham! - Wake Me Up Before You Go-Go. Of course my husband rightfully points out I won’t be there to see the reaction of my mates and kids but I still hold to this choice. I have so many plans for what my last hurrah will be like – thank god my youngest son can be trusted to bust out the sequins and style up the party.
How we go or leave life is very much a personal choice. I have stood with crying truckies in hi-vis vests as the chapel was blasted by Queen’s Another One Bites the Dust and the coffin receded. It was the best send off for a strong woman, full of humour who had worked on the wharves at a time when she was one of few.
There are no guarantees we will get what we want if we aren’t around to see it.
In late 2017, Satoru Anzaki former head of the Japanese multinational Komatsu placed an ad in the national paper and invited 1000 of his friends and colleagues to his End of Life Party. He was in his 80s and had terminal cancer and wanted a chance to thank all those who had contributed to his life. He chose a venue similar to a wedding reception venue. Guests were invited to bring a photo that represented their connection to Mr Anzaki and were warmly greeted and entertained by musicians from his hometown. News of the event went viral, those who attended said the mood was fun and celebratory. Mr Anzaki had hit the mark of how he wanted his life honoured and celebrated.
An End of Life Celebration or Living Funeral is a chance to have the exact type of tribute you want. You can decide the location. You can decide how big or intimate the gathering is. You can decide the music. If you are considering this as an option and want to talk through how it might work please contact me. Closure and peace can take many forms, this is a way to celebrate your life in its fullness.
Photo by Sharon Mccutcheon on Unsplash